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WadeRandolph.com |
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03/17/05 My Car Has Been Violated. Again. Well, I moved into my new place and not two weeks later my car was broken into. I’m pretty sure if my car was a city it would have one of the highest crime rates in the state, maybe even the country. Since I got it a year and a half ago, the antennae has been broken off, it’s been dinted by my idiot neighbors who misjudged their parking ability (no note), and broken into, twice. Actually, when you put it like that, it doesn’t actually sound like that much. But this time, they stole my stereo and about a thousand dollars worth of video equipment. My roommate and I were shooting a crappy music video, and luckily, my roommate had her camera with her at the time. The thing is, I have no reason to believe |
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I’m not the victim of some sort of international crime syndicate. Before you write me off with the usual “Silly Wade, you’re not attractive enough to have sex with.” I will submit to you, the following: 1) My car was parked in our carport, about twenty feet from the sidewalk. It was impossible to see what was in it driving by on the street. It was practically impossible to see what was in it walking by on the sidewalk. 2) The robber got away with more stuff than two people could carry, so he definitely had a vehicle. Judging by the tire marks left at the scene, and the speed of the job, I’m guessing it was a late model Ford pickup truck. 3) Brian the Communist, my Russian neighbor, is Russian. According to most of the movies I watched in my formative years during the Cold War (including but not limited to Top Gun), Russians are evil. 4) Brian the Communist hates that the freedom in America allows people to make crappy music videos. 5) Since Brian the Communist is my neighbor, it would allow him to walk by my car, in the carport, on the way to his, and see what is inside. 6) Brian the Communist drives a late model Ford pickup truck. 7) All Russians are secretly in the Russian mob. 8) Russians currently reside in more countries than one, therefore becoming “international”. 9) This picture was found at the crime scene: And there you have it. Victim of an international crime syndicate,
Wade Randolph. |
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