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WadeRandolph.com |
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5/24/05 Thicke Headed Right now I have an awesome job where I really don't have ANYTHING to do. So I think I'll dedicate this week to my awesome celebrity sightings. I don't have that many, so I'm not even sure I can fill the week up, but its already Tuesday, so hell. I'll give it my all. I was talking to my roommate the other day, and was shocked and amazed to find out that we had the same "First Ever Celebrity Sighting". America's sweetheart, |
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Alan Thicke, at the top of his fame. Before they needed a kid named Leo to make "Growing Pains" a good show. My friend first saw Alan Thicke walking through, or should I say, trying to walk through a hotel lobby as his many adoring fans surrounded him with love and well, adoration. Then he went away. My story kicks that story's ass. The Children's Hospital was having a fair for some reason, I guess to raise awareness for cancer or some shit like that. It was rumored that TV's Alan Thicke was supposed to make an appearance. Needless to say, the crowd was abuzz with anticipation. The fair was great though. It was held in a very large, green field just outside of the actual Children's Hospital. I guess so that the sicker children could look down and see what a great time we were all having. I was being taught to juggle by some stranger that I met, when it happened. A shinning glimmer seemed to reflect off of nothing in the distant sky. It was like an apparition of awesomeness. The people rose to their feet. You could hear the murmurs, not from little undeveloped hearts, but from excited mouths all around me. "Could it be?" "You don't think..." We watched with hope and nearly uncontainable jitters as the object approached. You could just about make out its form when the undeniable sound of the percussion like propellers reached our ears. It was definitely a helicopter, but what were its intentions? As it grew closer, it became more and more undeniable that it was set to land, not on any sort of landing pad, but on the lush green field, between the cotton candy stand and the face painting tent. It was going to land, among us. The security guards knew the drill as they quickly cleared a large circle, and the giant metal bird touched down. Immediately after the propellers stopped spinning, the door opened, and the crowd rushed in. My Sister was like a track star who was also skilled at rugby, sprinting and throwing people aside with ease. I tried to keep up, but having the size of a six year old, at age nine, prevented me from doing so. I stood near the back of the cheering crowd as Alan Mother Fucking Thicke, in person, stood waving to his fans, as his people passed out signed headshots. "They surely brought enough for everybody," I thought to myself, waiting anxiously for mine. The headshots didn't seem to be much of a commodity to the crowd, however, as they fluttered about, this way and that, often times landing on the ground. One of Alan's "people" handed me a piece of paper, and I quickly learned why. It wasn't the nice glossy photo with fresh sharpie emblazoned upon it, as I had seen others scurry away with. It was a black and white, Xerox copy of the nice glossy photo with fresh sharpie emblazoned upon it. A black and white photo copy. Not even a good one. A quite bad one. I hung my head and walked away as Mr. Thicke closed
the doors on his public, and once again, arose to the sky. Never
stepping foot off the helicopter. I was crushed. It was
almost like my innocent, care free self had died that day. Along
with all of my optimistic, never-never land visions of the future.
But at least I'd learned to juggle. I made my way back to where my Mom and Sister were standing. They were happy and smiling, and it made the new, bitter me angry. That's when I saw it. My Sister had, in her very hand, one of the nice glossy photos with fresh sharpie emblazoned upon it! "Surely my eyes work in jest!" I exclaimed as I took it into my own hands. It was nice and smooth, and completely great in every way imaginable. Not only that, but it fulfilled my aspirations of hope and goodness that I surely knew existed in this world. If I could be in possession of one of the few actual autographs from the dad on "Growing Pains", then I could do anything. Anything. And that's my Alan Thicke celebrity sighting story. |
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