WadeRandolph.com

5/10/05

Jamaican Limes and Suicide

Never to be outdone by their arch rival, Pepsi has come out with a Lime flavored beverage.  I'm pretty sure this is good news for a lot of people.  I, myself, don't care for lime on most occasions, so I will not be partaking in the citrusy goodness.

I'm just wondering if you guys have seen the new commercial for Pepsi Lime.  It's really great.  There are these two lime characters, they're both Jamaican, and they're sitting on respective cans of Pepsi Lime, and Diet Pepsi Lime.  The Pepsi Lime is sucking down the contents of the can he's sitting on, apparently unaware of the 

cannibalism he is contributing to.  He finishes the soda, and turns to his friend, wondering why the hell this soda tastes so good.  The Diet Lime informs him that it has, in fact, been flavored with other limes.

This is when it gets good.  The Pepsi Lime, shocked that he has just consumed friends, or possibly even family members, commits suicide.  SUICIDE!  In a Pepsi commercial!  It's awesome.

At least, that's my take on it.  Here's what literally happens, you tell me what it's supposed to mean.

The Pepsi Lime gets really upset, and says something like, "Oh no!"  Then his head splits apart where his mouth used to be.  The top part of his "head" falls to the ground, and rolls to a stop.  The rest of his now, seemingly lifeless body, stays at rest on top of the can.  Then the Diet Lime says something like, "Oh great."  As if his friend suddenly dying has created some sort of burden on him.

Now, it's that cynical line that makes me wonder if the Pepsi Lime actually killed himself, or if this is some sort of gag that the Pepsi Lime pulls all the time.  The Diet Lime could be put out because he's the one that always has to climb down from his can, get the top of his friend's head, climb up onto the other can, reattach the head, and finally, make his way back on top of his can.  Then five minutes later Pepsi Lime loses his head again after acting "surprised" that politicians lie, or that some female athletes are gay, or some kind of other hack joke like that.  And Diet Lime has to do it all over again.  I think we would all be upset having to do that.

On the other hand, it could be that Diet Lime (who for some reason is fatter than Pepsi Lime) just really is not very compassionate towards his friend.  And that, some how, by killing himself, Pepsi Lime has played the ultimate "fuck you" card.  Diet Lime knows that he has been bested, and thus mutters the line, "Oh great."  Like, "Oh, that's just like you, Pepsi Lime.  You totally would kill yourself just to piss me off.  Real mature."

The reason I really don't think it is the former, is because if that were the case, doesn't it seem like Pepsi Lime would say something to really finish off the joke?  Something really great, like, "Little help, here." or "I've got a splitting headache."

We may never know what is actually meant by this commercial, other than Pepsi with Lime tastes so good, even limes can't help but like it.  I think we can all agree, however, that this is pretty much the best commercial ever, in the history of everness.

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